I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
As shirtless as possible
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
