nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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