That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
