I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
