'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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