Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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