i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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