I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
