What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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