Moan for me like Helen Keller
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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