laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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