Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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