I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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