Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
