okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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