Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize