stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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