next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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