More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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