Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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