I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
