I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
