i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
