I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
The air taste purple.
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