dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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