i think i have herpe
just one?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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