oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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