You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize