The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
