i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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