Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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