woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
love makes seman taste better
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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