woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
