man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
