I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
