i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
