his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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