he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
