have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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