Best friends brother. Beat that.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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