if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Randomize
