my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
