Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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