you traded sex for a burrito?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Farmville is her only friend.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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