smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
