he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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