Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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