Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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