He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
