So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
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I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
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I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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