she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize