i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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