just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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