the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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