so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Congratulations! We have a period
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
