he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
