If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
she peed on how many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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