Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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