Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize